so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
