I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
