cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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