i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I believe in your delicious
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
