Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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