You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
