I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
