Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
