so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
