you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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