All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
