We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
