"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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