trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
