i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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