so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
