Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
