I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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