Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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