At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
