So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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