Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
