i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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