Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
