a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
