I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
