Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
