i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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