i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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