to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
