Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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