were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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