dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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