I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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