a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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