He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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