theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
