you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
