i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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