capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So apparently I’m into choking now
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