you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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