thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
