My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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