If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you win again, gameday.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
