1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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