two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
