Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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