If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
