I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
