So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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