you mean i was at the winter classic?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
