Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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