sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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